It's early 2012 and I'm playing The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Why? Because I (finally) can. Join me on my path to glory and the stabilization of the status quo in almost-Tolkien-land.
Martor is finally healed but the quest
isn't over. I fast-travel to Skingrad to deliver the cure to the
count so he can use it on his wife. His secretary/steward/house
lizard lady tells me to follow her and leads me down into a rather
ominous crypt below the castle, where the count is standing by a bed
with a woman on it. He tells me that Melisande is going to wake up
his wife so she can take the medicine and pass on peacefully and I
can watch if I want. Melisande? She's standing right there in the
corner. As I came by horse and she doesn't have one at her house, I
really wonder who she got here before me but it's okay. If murderers
in movies can off-screen-teleport, I guess it's fair if an ally does
it for once.
Melisande awakens the countess and she
is scared and confused but her husband comforts her and tells her
that it's over and she can finally rest. This would be a moving scene
if the translators hadn't fucked it up again and the count calls his
wife „my dear“ in German form that adresses a masculine person
(„mein Lieber“). Fuck the translation-studio or whoever is
responsible for the fucked-up process behind this. The countess
swallows the quest-item-potion that I couldn't, twitches a bit and
drops dead. I guess you can't skip years with vampirism. The count
tells me to leave him alone for 24 hours (always 24 hours, isn't it?)
so he can grieve his wife. I decide it's time to celebrate me being a
human being again. And eat something.
There isn't really much in the way of
celebration for Martor. He doesn't have any friends who would
celebrate with him. There are not whores to spend money on in this
world either. There is only one thing: Go to a tavern, alone, and get
drunk, also alone.
I go to the nearest Skingrad tavern and
order lots of food. They irritatingly don't have any wine so I sit
down, munch on pork, bread and cheese and drink wine I have brought
myself. All I can drink, in fact, so Martor must be quite wasted.
It's about 10 in the morning too and people around react to that,
telling me that they have killed worse things than me. Thanks. I only
just recovered from vampirism. There is a woman in the bar who
introduces herself with the last name god-hater and tells me she
hates gods and if I have a problem with that she hates me to. I don't
say anything but she keeps glaring at me with the most evil look the
facial animations of Oblivion can muster up. I leave the
establishment and people on the street take the liberty to insult me.
I turn and face an orc so he can repeat what he said while walking
past me in my face but he just rambles the usual propaganda about the
fighters guild fucking hiring people. I leave. What do I do to pass
the time?
Looking at my character history, I read
that I spent an astonishing 14 days as a vampire, about half the
in-game time I have played in total, but I haven't bitten any necks.
Yay me, I guess. I wait til the next morning, renting a room in one
of the taverns, and then go back to the castle.
Lizard-lady tells me to wait while she
gets the count. He comes into the entrance hall soon enough, from a
totally different direction. I walk towards him as he is walking
directly towards me. My reward...? „Go now!“ says with anger in
his face. Alright, alright, fuck this place. Once it gets to „who
will close the hellgates that are surrounding our city?“ I guess
I'll be your idiot-for-hire again. For now I leave Skingrad for good.
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